Posted in walt disney

A Tick on Your Checklist

tickA lot of people find their ideal partner by following a criteria: good-looking, kind, sweet, thoughtful, family-oriented, and so on. That’s how the common list for most of us goes, which is not wrong. It’s good to know what you want. But you might have missed one.

I want to share another qualification you might want to add to your “standards”. I didn’t see this at first too, but I’ve come to realize how significant this one is over time.

Be with someone who motivates you to be a better version of yourself. Be with someone who directs you to the right path. Be with someone who makes you want to change to deserve all the love you’re getting. Be with someone who guides you to be kind.

You might ask, how I come to realize this. Here’s a brief background.

My relationship is challenging. We are a six-year girl-girl couple, living miles away and only seeing each other two days every month. Long distance is lonely and frustrating, especially when you are clingy just like us. As difficult as it is, every minute we spend when we are finally together is priceless. There’s just pure and true love. The affection, care, warmth and adoration is more than the $220 plane ticket.

I’m not sure if I am blessed, or just lucky to have someone who loves me unreservedly. I’m absolutely unworthy of the love I am receiving. That’s why I always tell myself to be kind to people. Just to return the favor to God and the Universe who gave me my happiness.

With the heaving love I am getting, there’s this urge (probably my conscience) inside me which pushes me to be kind to people. But this is just not me, it’s mostly my partner. She’s the one who inspires me and shows me the right kind of love. Love isn’t selfish, it is generous.

When you have this type of relationship, you wouldn’t want this to be kept just to yourself. You will want to share it to others. Spread the love around you today.

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Posted in pablo neruda

obscure

This is all you

The sparkle in my eyes

Knowing you soul-deep

Overwhelming my melting heart


I am falling for you

Stronger, more exquisite each time

Should this be the last thing I’d feel,

I know I’ve lived my life


So in love

Drunk, drowning, crazy in love

Everything else is clouded and who cares?

You’re the one that shines through


All my senses amplified

Directed straight at you

You took my hand and my heart

You changed my world ravishingly


Your lips intertwined with mine

Chasing the unknowns

An elucidation, perchance

But this, us, it’s beyond apperception

Posted in pablo neruda

repose

No pretentions

Bare faces

Plain, simple, real

Unmask the sanity

Inhale the scent

Let out the paltriness

Feel the weight above

Hold on this magnitude

Stay still as eyes stare

Unmove the time

Let the music play

And this as I dream

Posted in pablo neruda

divulgence.

She is waiting outside

They came short of a smile

Fretfully tethering her fingers

Don’t want this minute to linger

 

She clutched the first seat

Their eyes not once meet

An hour passed as they spoke

Her voice starting to choke

 

No more hiding

Put end to all the lying

She’s exposed

But love never lose

 

 

 

Posted in primrose saddle

Love Wins on the Last Day of the Love Month

I did it. I finally let it out. I told my parents I am in a relationship with another girl. It was not smooth at all which I already expected. Getting out of the closet to your parents is not a piece of cake. I lamely messaged my mom and said I am a bisexual since I do not have the guts to say it personally. When I hit that send button, I was fretting and jittery. It took several minutes before she answered and asked to talk to me in the middle of a working day. Of course I said yes, dropping everything on my plate that day, and face what seems to be my Judgment Day. She told my dad about it, so the three of us talked.

They asked me questions, they said their part, and I said mine. They are calm the whole time, I think. I am grateful on the way they seem to accept things, although there’s still hesitation and disappointment on their voice. But I do not hold it against them. I know they are still processing everything, and taking in my big revelation. If this is not easy for me, it is worse for them.

Nonetheless, I am still glad that after all these years I finally said it to them. Somehow I feel free. This is only a start, and there will be more adversities I must face. But I am strong with my family by my side. I will continue to hold on to what my mom said:

“You will always be my daughter no matter what. I love you! I will always be here for you.”

Posted in pablo neruda

nuisance

I can’t see

But I can sense all

In this basement of unsolicited possessions

 

A thrill in my shoe

To let me recognize you’re around

I know I’ve got everything I need

 

My mind soars away with a million thoughts

To discharge this energy you built up recklessly

Your complete actuality is beyond me

 

I took a step back

Breathe in, breathe out

I can’t comprehend

Posted in primrose saddle

Cheerio, is it?

So, yes. I am putting it out there, out open in the world. I’m not sure if anybody is listening, or if anyone will care but I just have to say it even in covertly in this blog where nobody really knows me. At least I’m brave enough to express it, although not really.

You see, I’m still living with my parents which sucks sometimes. And they’ve been pushing me to move out and work overseas where there will be a lot of opportunities for self-growth which is true. I actually thought of trying my luck and work abroad, too. But they are being so persistent telling it to me every single day which got me thinking that I should really go. Their constant reminder says that I should be on my own since I am old enough however apparently not matured enough. It’s frightening, but I think I have to do this for myself and for them too.

If I go and work there, I will earn more meaning I can give more help to the family. Honestly, we need the money. And I have to save up for my future as well. My worry is not getting a job and fail my sole purpose on why I went there in the first place. But then again, rejections and disappointments will only teach us strength and courage, right?

I think I’m going.

May the stars line up for me.

Posted in pablo neruda

I remember

When I was six, I remember

I remember going inside a car with my mom and little brother

I remember spending a holiday on a hotel just us three

I remember my dad cheating

 

When I was ten, I remember

I remember playing with my brothers and sister

I remember being in a supermarket with us six

I remember my mom genuinely smiling

 

When I was twelve, I remember

I remember how my mom shared to me her heartbreak

I remember her drinking wine in the comfort room

I remember my dad desperate

 

When I was fourteen, I remember

I remember being the head of the family to my siblings

I remember having no parent in the house

I remember myself dreadful

 

When I was twenty, I remember

I remember staying up til 3a.m. studying alone

I remember my mom and dad calling me from home

I remember being carefree

 

I am twenty four, and now I can see

I can see my mom and dad still consistently fighting

I can see them patching things up and laughing

I can see the through them the power of love, family, and marriage

Posted in charles dickens

Not Quite There Yet

I nervously took the last step and I was inside the room. I tilted my head in her direction. And there she was, sitting on her usual spot on the center aisle of the third row. She was wearing the old Star Wars shirt given by her Dad. She looked simply perfect in that picture. Her hair covering her face down while she was writing on her pink journal she had since two years ago. I gave her that journal. She’s biting her lip which means she’s into something serious. What is it this time? A poem, a song or just cartoon sketches. She’s the most talented girl I know. She writes, draws, cooks, and sings. And with her beauty and kind heart, she’s the real deal.  I regret letting her go.

 

He always gets in at 7:56 a.m. I rushed this morning so I can beat him and be at class before he gets here. It’s 7:53 a.m. on my watch which means he’ll be here soon. I synchronized our time, so none of us will be late for anything. But he was never late, I were. I stared at the door. I can’t believe I’m still waiting for him. My hands were sweating from below my desk. So I got my journal and pen out, just to make myself occupied. I turned to a clean sheet and just started writing the lyrics of my favorite song. I sang along with every stroke to distract myself.

 

She unconsciously raised her eyes towards the door with her lips slightly opened. He caught her gaze. They stared at each other long enough to recall the times they were together, holding each other right there. She held back her tear and returned to her writing. He walked inside, not on his usual seat on the third row. He went straight at the back where he can hide his broken heart. She just faced forward and never turned around.