Posted in pablo neruda

nuisance

I can’t see

But I can sense all

In this basement of unsolicited possessions

 

A thrill in my shoe

To let me recognize you’re around

I know I’ve got everything I need

 

My mind soars away with a million thoughts

To discharge this energy you built up recklessly

Your complete actuality is beyond me

 

I took a step back

Breathe in, breathe out

I can’t comprehend

Posted in primrose saddle

Cheerio, is it?

So, yes. I am putting it out there, out open in the world. I’m not sure if anybody is listening, or if anyone will care but I just have to say it even in covertly in this blog where nobody really knows me. At least I’m brave enough to express it, although not really.

You see, I’m still living with my parents which sucks sometimes. And they’ve been pushing me to move out and work overseas where there will be a lot of opportunities for self-growth which is true. I actually thought of trying my luck and work abroad, too. But they are being so persistent telling it to me every single day which got me thinking that I should really go. Their constant reminder says that I should be on my own since I am old enough however apparently not matured enough. It’s frightening, but I think I have to do this for myself and for them too.

If I go and work there, I will earn more meaning I can give more help to the family. Honestly, we need the money. And I have to save up for my future as well. My worry is not getting a job and fail my sole purpose on why I went there in the first place. But then again, rejections and disappointments will only teach us strength and courage, right?

I think I’m going.

May the stars line up for me.

Posted in pablo neruda

I remember

When I was six, I remember

I remember going inside a car with my mom and little brother

I remember spending a holiday on a hotel just us three

I remember my dad cheating

 

When I was ten, I remember

I remember playing with my brothers and sister

I remember being in a supermarket with us six

I remember my mom genuinely smiling

 

When I was twelve, I remember

I remember how my mom shared to me her heartbreak

I remember her drinking wine in the comfort room

I remember my dad desperate

 

When I was fourteen, I remember

I remember being the head of the family to my siblings

I remember having no parent in the house

I remember myself dreadful

 

When I was twenty, I remember

I remember staying up til 3a.m. studying alone

I remember my mom and dad calling me from home

I remember being carefree

 

I am twenty four, and now I can see

I can see my mom and dad still consistently fighting

I can see them patching things up and laughing

I can see the through them the power of love, family, and marriage

Posted in charles dickens

Not Quite There Yet

I nervously took the last step and I was inside the room. I tilted my head in her direction. And there she was, sitting on her usual spot on the center aisle of the third row. She was wearing the old Star Wars shirt given by her Dad. She looked simply perfect in that picture. Her hair covering her face down while she was writing on her pink journal she had since two years ago. I gave her that journal. She’s biting her lip which means she’s into something serious. What is it this time? A poem, a song or just cartoon sketches. She’s the most talented girl I know. She writes, draws, cooks, and sings. And with her beauty and kind heart, she’s the real deal.  I regret letting her go.

 

He always gets in at 7:56 a.m. I rushed this morning so I can beat him and be at class before he gets here. It’s 7:53 a.m. on my watch which means he’ll be here soon. I synchronized our time, so none of us will be late for anything. But he was never late, I were. I stared at the door. I can’t believe I’m still waiting for him. My hands were sweating from below my desk. So I got my journal and pen out, just to make myself occupied. I turned to a clean sheet and just started writing the lyrics of my favorite song. I sang along with every stroke to distract myself.

 

She unconsciously raised her eyes towards the door with her lips slightly opened. He caught her gaze. They stared at each other long enough to recall the times they were together, holding each other right there. She held back her tear and returned to her writing. He walked inside, not on his usual seat on the third row. He went straight at the back where he can hide his broken heart. She just faced forward and never turned around.

Posted in charles dickens

Meeting the Boss (#4)

First Part: Three Bottles of Beer, Six Shots of Tequila (#1)

Second Part: The Yellow Umbrella (#2)

Third Part: Worst Hangover (#3)

Here’s the fourth part:

 

“You gotta be kidding me? Why is he here? Is he the owner? Is he my boss? Is this a dream? A hangover dream!”

 Dina shut her eyes real hard trying to wake up from what she thought was just a dream when his voice echoed in the office again.

“How is everybody?”, he still got his smile on.

This wakes Dina’s bewildered spirit. She walked towards him silently and abruptly.

“Apologies for my curtsy, Mr. Danny….”, There is an awkward long pause. “Oh my God! What’s his last name again? Maine? Sawyer?”

 “It’s Danny Mayer, actually. What’s up Dina? Why the sudden formality, and “curtsy”? Really?”, Danny laughed and Dina felt red and irritated. The other people in the room looked at each other wordlessly, then all eyes are pointed at Dina. Everyone is still puzzled, more than she is probably.

“I hate that he’s too confident! I’m still confused.”

 “Anyway, Mr. Mayer. I am Dina Curtis. I am the Project Manager for the rehabilitation of the restaurant. It’s very nice to have you today.”, she reached her hand for a shake.

He received her welcomingly. “I have to apologize if this seemed sudden to you and your team.”

“No worries, you can always come here. So, how can we help you?”

“I want to discuss to you about the timeline. I expected Chey to fill you in. I hope she did.”

“Of course, I spoke to her earlier. Do you mind taking this to my office?”

“Sure.”, Danny smiled and followed Dina to her office. Everybody else followed with their gaze.

 

She walked across the room and gestured Danny to his seat. When he was seated, she sat across from him. There is a table between them but it seems like he can feel how nervous she is.

Danny scanned the room. She looked at him intently. He has a suit on and his hair is fixed and not in a bad way. He looked like a real man and handsome, apart from earlier that morning. “Why does he serve as a waiter in the bar if he owns a restaurant? Why am I nervous now? I can’t believe that the guy who sees my worst drunken night is my boss.” She was distracted from her thoughts when she saw his lips moving, making a way to speak. But she barely heard him.

“Pardon me?”

“I said, you look well compared to this morning.”, smiling.

She blushed. Her silent prayer of this topic not to be brought up is shuttered.

“Okay, so we have to talk about that. If you don’t mind, Mr. Mayer, can we be professional here and talk about the project?”

“Danny. Just call me Danny.”

“Alright, Danny. Whatever happened last night, let’s leave it at the bar. And this morning, thank you for the umbrella. It was gentleman of you. I apologize if I was rude but you understand why I’m pissed, right?”

“Maybe.”, he smiled again teasingly.

“Can we move on now?”

“You seem to try.”

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing.”, he changed his mood from being foolish to business man real quick. “Anyway, about the project. I am disappointed with the delay based on your report as submitted to me through Chey. Two weeks behind is critical on this stage.”

“I know. That’s why we are working twice as hard for the past couple of days to keep up.”

“Forgive me but I have to ask.”, Danny said hesitantly.

“What?”

“Is your personal life affecting your work? If it does, please get yourself together. I want the restaurant operational in a month.”

For the nth time today Dina felt embarrassed. And now ashamed.

“Danny, if you reviewed my report you should have known that the project was delayed because the supplier of materials, which according to Chey was requested by the Owner, did not meet our agreed schedule of delivery. And just to inform you, I am 100% on board with this project regardless of whatever is happening in my personal life.”

“I officially hate this guy! He thinks that I cannot do my job just because he saw me in a bar drinking? That does not define me. And he acts like he knows everything about the construction when this is only the first time he ever visited the site! His arrogance will not be hidden by his fancy clothes, not as much as the gorgeous body peeking in there! Oooops. ”

“Good to know. So with the current standing, can we make it in a month?”

“Yes!”, she said sharply.

“Great! That’s what I need to confirm from you.”, he smiled again and looked at his wrist watch.

“Dina, I have to go now. I still have work to do. I’ll just see you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?”, she replied with her lips in a thin line.

“Yeah! I’ll be here. I want to look around, I just can’t today.”

“Sure. I’ll see you then.”

“Good. Unless I see you earlier?”

“What does he mean, earlier?” He seemed to have read her mind.

“Just in case you drop by at the bar.”, Danny said with a grin while standing up. “I really have to go. Thank you, Dina.”, he reached his hand.

She shook it, also standing up.

“I can show myself out. Bye.” Danny left the room.

“Why did I say yes to one month? I can’t do it, that’s impossible. And Danny is something else. I don’t know why he has this effect on me. He’s strange, and he’s the worst! I know he thinks less of me. I will prove to him that I am better than that. I am a great engineer! He’ll see it!”

 

Dina called every one of her staff to her office for an emergency meeting to strategize and create a catch-up plan for the project. In the middle of their heated discussion, a cellphone rang.

“Whose phone is that? You can answer it outside.”, Dina looked at them unhappily.

Jane, her secretary replied and raised the phone, “Ma’am, it’s coming from here.”. She reached the phone to Dina.

She looked at the screen, it reads that the call is from a certain “MOM”.

“Whose phone is this?”, nobody answered her so she pressed send.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Dina! It’s Danny. I left my phone in your office. Do you mind? Can you take it to the bar later? I am just so busy right now, I can’t manage to go back there. Please?”, there’re car noises on the background. It sounds like he’s walking on the street.

“Sure.”, she said shortly.

“Thank you very much. I owe you one. Bye.”, Danny hangs up.

Posted in primrose saddle

Across the Miles on Valentine’s Day

Today my girlfriend surprised me with flowers, chocolates and body massage since it’s Valentine’s day. A delivery girl went to my office and gave me the package. I was surprised. It is the first time in our six years of being together that she did this. And I feel so loved.

 

We may be celebrating the Valentine’s day apart this year, but nonetheless our love for each other is still felt across the miles.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

 

Posted in pablo neruda

Blocked

Are we still worth every hurt?

Can we save whatever’s left of our promised love?

It’s a long shot and blinding darkness


I can’t see the point of all these

Am I only here to walk with no direction?

Tomorrow seems to not exist anymore

It’s a cold night and there’s no image in the mirror

I lost myself in this bind