The past week has been a constant fight with my girlfriend. She came home for a short vacation since it is the Holy Week. Schools and works were in a holiday. I thought this would finally be our time together. Seeing each other only once a month gets me really lonely so when I knew she’d be coming home even for only a few days I got syched!
But all we do is fight and hurt each other. I have these things I wanted to do during her stay. But I did not quite noted that she was visiting not only me but her family too. I forgot the fact that she probably also missed them as she was away for a time.
When she was here, she will always ask me to tag along with her family’s activities and out-of-towns and I would gladly join them. I love her family! They are nice, accomodating and fun. I was really happy to spend time with them, with her. However, I always got this want to have her with me – alone. I want us to be together just the two of us and so far we did not do that. We only get to see each other when I came to their family gatherings. I really do not have anything against it except that my clingy side wanted more, more of us alone together. Which is difficult since she feel obliged to be with her family always which in return makes things difficult for me and that is why I get mad.
I tend to be selfish. There are times I wanted to have her for me only, not considering that some people need her too. She then became hopeless and sad since she cannot give the more time that I demand. Her supposed to be relaxing vacation from school only got her stressed out because of my attitude. I disregarded that she has responsibilities with her family and that means less baby time for me. Being the arrogant that I am, although I understand her I still chose to ignore her reasons and focused on what I want. That’s why we fought a lot.
She cried. I hid my tears. She screamed. I replied. She said she’d leave me because she does not know how to juggle me along with all the other things she prioritizes. I paused. I cannot lose someone just because I love myself too much. That’s not right. I cannot lose her just because I am being needy. I hugged her, she clinged for a minute and then we knew we were okay.
Lesson learned from this emotional swings for the last week is to be more patient. I have to be more patient and wait for the time when she can finally go home to me. I will be here just in stand by until I get to be the “home”. I will wait for the time that I am no longer a tag-along but a part of the family. Maybe next time everyday will be my time.