It is my last day at work today. I feel out of my depth because I don’t feel like leaving. And at the same time I feel scared of what’s in store for me.
I had a talk with my team. We had on open forum. I shared to them my feedback and they do the same to me. We made it like a constructive criticism. It is overwhelming because they speak so fine about me. I know I am doing my job well but I did not expect such kind words from them. I feel valued which makes my resignation worse.
My stay here might be short but I will forever treasure the education and friendships I gained while working here. I know my decision was right when I accepted this job. I am happy that I became a part of a good team even for a while. Through my employment here, I have learned to appreciate engineering more. I also had good fun friends which made my job easier to bare even during those stressful times.
But some things has to change and I have to move on with my life. I am so gratified to this company because I know I became a better person than the one I used to be when I first started here. Thank you so much, FPI.
It ruptures my heart whenever I hear my grandmother cry. I called her earlier. She sound okay at first but as we talked, her voice starts to crack. I know she was keeping her voice low to hold back the tears. But I can still feel her sob even over the phone. It is tear-jerking for me too. I hate it when I am the reason why she is lonely. She’s afraid that we won’t be able to see each other more often because I have to fly away. I am also frightened. She’s not getting any younger…. And I can’t finish that sentence. Her voice still lingers on my ear. How sad she is. How she’s not okay with everything that is happening recently. She’s old and she should be just relaxing and enjoying life. But she just can’t do that. That is unfair. I wish I could be an instant millionaire so she doesn’t have to worry about paying the bills and all life’s shit. I want her to be happy. That will make me happier – just to see her happy.
He slammed the door to her face. She locked the door and started crying. She went to the bathroom and checked herself in the mirror. She could not recognize herself anymore. Her eye make-up were smudged all over her face from the crying. She cried some more and pitied herself. She got the towel and washed her face but the sobbing did not stop. She looks miserable.
He went to the kitchen counter and got the keys to his car. He rushed to the front door. He walked fast that he did not notice their neighbor waving his hand at him for attention. He got into the drive seat. He put his head in the steering wheel and shed a tear. He looks frustrated.
She got into bed without changing her clothes. He checked in into a hotel nearby. She cried. He cried. She slept and he slept with their hearts crushed.
He woke up and turned to the other side of the bed. He was shocked not to feel his wife’s soft hair on his arms. He got up immediately. He needs to see her and apologize. He did not shower or brush his teeth before going. He just got into his car and drove home. He stopped for three bagels and a cup of hot latte, his wife’s favorite.
She woke up and turned to the other side of the bed. She was shocked not to feel her husband’s chest on his head. She got up instantly. She needs to see him. She did not shower or brush her teeth before going. She just got his daily maintenance medicine from their bathroom and went straight for the door.
She turned the knob and was surprised to see him by the front door struggling between the foods he brought and finding their door key on his pocket. She opened the door wider and hugged her husband. She cried. He cried. They both smiled.
Relationships are difficult. Sometimes we might need a break for ourselves. But we will always go back home, to the person whom we will always belong.
Only a few days left before I leave. I don’t know what I should feel. I am sad that I have to quit a job that I love but I have to so I can be with my family. It’s not just that, I am leaving someone I love too just so I can spend more time with my family. It’s complicated.
On the other hand, I am also excited to finally live in our own house with my parents and my siblings. It has been almost 7 years since I went away for college and then work. My parents requested that I come back home, just for a year or so. And I couldn’t just turn them down. They said I might get married and never have the chance to be with them, and well that could happen. This might be our only opportunity to be complete as a family. And I just cannot let it go.
I thought that since I am still young, I can prioritize them first before my career and my personal goals. They are my family; they are the reason why I am where I am now. I owe this to them. I just pray that this major transition in my life go smoothly.
I miss losing myself in a book. I want to read one so badly. But I do not know what to read. I’ve been researching on good books to read but I cannot find anything that really interests me.
It doesn’t have to be my favorite genre which is romance. I can use something that is about science, a fun encyclopedia perhaps. Comics will also do. Practically anything that has sense.
I want a day on the beach and read a book while my hair flows with the wind and my mind is taken to another place. And then I am relaxed.
“If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it.” – William Arthur Ward
How beautiful is that. It describes how big of a world we live in and how bigger a person can be. It gives limitless possibilities for dreamers and believers.
A person’s dream is part of his life purpose. We live to achieve those dreams – those targets in life. However, many people find it intricate to live up with that dream because they do not believe in it for they seem impossible to happen. The secret is to have passion and to believe.
Passion is having a very strong feeling towards something or someone. It is an intense emotion that will give you undeniable enthusiasm to do things you cannot imagine yourself. Passion is your driving force to push you transform your dreams from imagination to reality. Quoting Audrey Hepburn,
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’.”
Believing is accepting something that is true even if you cannot see it physically but you hold unto it still. Our dreams will remain as dreams if we do not believe that we can do it. It’s like picturing your dreams in your head and feeling it in your soul that it will come true. As Steve Maraboli says,
“If you believe you can, you might. If you know you can, you will.”
Never stop dreaming. Have passion in your dreams and believe in yourself. There’s nothing that can stop you. Your imagination is your only drawback.
I was being serious and busy doing my work. He suddenly appeared on my back and watched what I was doing. I stayed focus and ignored him. After a while, he spoke. So I stopped and regarded him. I tried to smile and be pleasant. He asked for my help. So I did help him gladly. I told him what to do but he frowned. Did he expect me to do everything? I was a bit pissed and irritated. I instructed him again and I think there’s something on my tone that made him do as I told. So he went. A couple of minutes after, he came back. So I asked him to grab a chair so we can sit down on the task and finish it already. He seemed nervous as I talk. I tried to be nice again. This time I helped me every step of the way. After we’re done, he smiled and thanked me. I saw the relief in his eyes. And I was happy that I was there for him.
I felt bad being a bitch about it at first then it came to me that I have to be the bigger person. I have to be more understanding to people since I do not know what they’re going through. Maybe he is just that shy. Even if it seems that I helped him, he helped me too. Because today I know I did something good. And God smiled unto me and I’ve made him proud.